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Osama bin Spamin It is rapidly becoming painfully apparent to anyone with an Internet connection that the primary purpose of the so-called “Patriot Act” is not to keep the world safe from Islamic terrorism, but to facilitate enforcement of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that the so-called “safeguards” they have put in place to invade our privacy on the Internet will eventually be used to apprehend far more evil teenage “file swappers” than terrorists. I mean, really, they can’t actually think that the terrorists are going to be so incredibly “stoopid” as to send an e-mail message like, “Yo, Abdul, blow up the pay toilet in the Podunk Junction bus station,” can they? If they’re dumb enough to use the Internet at all, they are going to slip the “trigger” for the desired event into the billions of unsolicited e-mail messages (SPAM) the crisscross the globe daily. They wouldn’t even have to embed anything in the message that requires an official Osama bin Laden secret decoder ring. It could be nothing more than the message itself. By withholding the names of their members from their mass mailing lists until the desired time, the fact that they suddenly receive a message offering to enlarge body parts you can’t mention in polite company could mean that the White House is about to get whacked. Accordingly, I strongly suggest that the government get up off my right to privacy and start concentrating on these mass-merchandising thugs who have been terrorizing us for years. |